I just joined a gym

I've never belonged to a gym before. Frankly they are not the place people of my particular dimensions want to be seen in sticky tight clothing. If I were svelte, I'd be thrilled to sport some stretchy tops, but since all my tops are stretchy if only to fit across my ample bosom, it's just not the same.

See I've realized this year has royally sucked ass. I kind of hate my job in that the kids are not the age group I really like. I love my principal and would work for her any time. And my partners are really great, but it's not the kind of teaching I love doing.

Ricardo has had a brutalizing year with all the administration stuff going on and still having other responsibilities.

My mom has had surgery for cancer. My step-mother-in-law had a pacemaker put in. It's been a shitastic year.

And the newest crap keeps on getting hurled onto the top of the pile. I can't blog about it because it's all still going on, but imagine all the bad things that have been listed and then crank them to 11 (you know, it's one more than 10). Let's sum it up by saying I don't think I've ever cried this much since my son was born prematurely and we were told he'd have only a 60% survival rate. And since in a few weeks that got bumped up to 90%, this is in many ways worse.

All I can say is that our health is fine, the house is good (cool thank God because it's fucking hot out here), the kid is fine. It's just everything else that's in disarray.

So I figured, I could go to the doctor and get some drugs to counteract the panic attacks, *or* I could go to the gym.

And how things have changed! Ok so this is Gold's Gym. As in super buff, steroid freaks with cooking oil slicking themselves down. But it's not! It's full of like normal people. Chunks like me, decrepit gomers even, completely normal people. And I'm all excited. So I am going back tomorrow. I did stop at K-Mart next door because at home I tend to get on the elliptical in a crapped out sportsbra, jammie pants and sneakers. It seemed I needed actual clothes for public exhibition of exercise. But even so, it's a good deal for teachers.

And the best part is they don't have a pool. So we can use all these hotel pools here in town. And since pool memberships run $1200, I figure $39.99/month is a bargain.

So how long will I make it going there? We'll see.