Do they have to put things together in China?

I mean if everything is made there, is everything already pre-assembled for them? Is that like a courtesy for those who make everything in the world in their own country? Maybe I'll ask Russel when he comes for Thanksgiving tomorrow. He's a Chinese national. Or is that gauche to do to a guest? Because I really want to know.

For our Thanksgiving miracle this year, the shower door was installed and the bathroom cabinet that I ordered two months ago arrived. As a celebratory experience Ricardo and I decided to put the cabinet together and to finally move into our bathroom which we've been without for months now.

The odd thing was that it all seemed to be going very well. We had the usual assembly squabbling over stripped screws and the usual stupid assed jokes about how we'd "screwed" al afternoon (as if in 17 years together that one was still funny). But aside from some pouting on my part (I wanted to use the electric screw driver, Goddamn it. Why should I always have to have the pussy assed job of holding the stupid screws and putting them in the holes?) and the snarling on Ricardo's part (OK, I did totally strip the screws when he did give me the electric screw driver, but not worse than he did when he did the hinge on the other side) it was a breeze.

Until we tried to put it up. And here's where we got cocky. As many of you may know, the bathroom situation became a major gut job when we discovered the tiles had been put straight on the drywall. This meant that all the walls had to be removed and replaced with new drywall. Pain in the ass, yes. But handy for finding the studs because Darryl our painter hasn't shown up (in fairness, he told us he couldn't start until November and November is A) not over and B) will end before he starts, but damn, he's good!). So right now there's spackle over the screws that went into the studs. Piece of cake right?

Wrong. Because the holes of the cabinet are 15 inches apart and our studs are 16 1/2 inches apart. So we got out the big scary drill, put holes in the wall and hammered in the anchors. Except one of the anchors got hammered straight through the hole and into the wall. This would be fine, except that it was at 5:18pm and Martin Hardware closes at 5:30. So, God willing, Ricardo will have made it there in time to get new anchors so no one has to go to the satanic Lowes.

To make a rather long story just a bit longer, the cabinet is not up. The house is a wreck. My mother is potentially lost on the Powhite Parkway (which I swear is not a made up name. Anyone who has been to Richmond knows this is true). My son is at a friend's house. TiVo is taping a Ben 10 marathon for him and I now can't shower because the cabinet is taking up the whole bathroom. And I smell kind of bad. And I'm out of orange juice.