No. But I have a dinner knife...

Here is what I have in my kitchen:

• A dull knife purchased at a convenience store
• a broken spatula (both pieces have been left if I want to glue them together)
• a pot handle (found the skillet it went with!)
• a plastic whisk
• a wooden spoon
• a plastic ladle
• three bottle/wine openers
• lots of plates and bowls
• wine glasses
• some small pots and pans
• five glasses
• one serving bowl
• a few mugs

Here is what I don't have:

• a can opener
• a paring knife
• a bread knife
• a sugar bowl
• a napkin holder
• a salt shaker
• any other serving pieces at all
• any large pots or pans
• any baking dishes at all
• an ice cream scoop (which I need because that's an important food group)
• a vegetable scraper (that scrapes, there is one, but you couldn't cut with it, believe me I tried this morning)
• any large glasses
• a pasta pot
• anywhere to store food at all other than the fridge

This morning we went to set up a bank account which was time consuming but easier than the usual Spanish bureaucracy. We needed only passports and money, which believe me for Spain is nothing! Afterwards we came home so I could begin to wash mattress covers. It's hot as fuck today (40° which is like 100° but terribly, terribly dry) so we decided to wash at home, dry out on the line and inventory the kitchen because breakfast this morning was a bit of a fiasco.

I should begin by explaining what happened with breakfast yesterday morning.

Our first night, we decided to buy a few things so we could have breakfast in and save a little money. We bought fabulous bread, butter, jam, plums and of course, nutella. We got milk, which here is shelf stable and kind of creepy because who thinks to buy their milk off the shelves instead of in the refrigerated section, but there you go.

Yesterday morning I awoke to realize that the microwave was aged and was not going to be the most effective way to heat milk, so I found a pot which was one of the larges I have (probably about 1 1/2 quart sized) and put it to boil. Then I tried to cut the bread.

But no bread knife.

The Kid asked what I was going to do. So I answered, "I have a dinner knife!"

Turns out the dinner knives are serrated and so I used one to hack off the bread (inelegantly) to say the least. But since this took a while and we lost time to searching, the milk boiled over and made a mess.

Fast forward to this morning when I was preparing kiwis. Turns out the vegetable peeler is totally useless. I am again making milk and prepping breakfast (pan de jamaica and jamón) and since the peeler does not work, I have to get all McGyver on this shit. The Kid says, "Are you going to use the bread knife you bought yesterday?"

No, I replied, it's too big. But I have a dinner knife!

In the midst of all this though, the milk once again boils over making a blessed mess.

Time to shop some more.