A couple lost sayings that should have been included

The first one is courtesy of his reading class. While working with another student in his reading group, Dwayne wanted to get her attention. (Same girl as momma's boyfriend girl). So out of nowhere is heard "Gahther rownduh leetle cheeldrin, it's stooory tahm."

The other excellent line was from a discussion we had about geothermal energy. I had told the kids that we'd been to some geysers in Chile that had been used to create geothermal energy. Then I showed them pictures of it and explained that geysers were boiling hot streams of water heated by underground volcanoes. I also mentioned that someone who had been there didn't listen to the guides and burned himself badly.

"He put his hand right in to it," I explained.
"Way-ul, may be he was doin' thuh Ho-key Po-key."

Maybe he was.

Great sayings of a favorite student

So I have this student. He's a special ed kid. He has some issues (not the least of which is that he is incapable of making eye contact so he always turns his head towards you and his eyes away, and also he doesn't like to be touched. Oh and he takes forever to write even his name.) but he is easily one of the most hilarious people I have ever met.

It all began with a few comments here or there. He doesn't speak much and when he does it's very slowly. Oh and he has a serious drawl type accent. He's seriously below grade level in reading and math and it's likely he will always struggle. But somehow he's a genius when it comes to funny things.

For example, we were talking about solids, liquids and gases because states of matter are something that third graders have to know. So we were drawing pictures (which is really hard for him). It started out easy.

"A car is a solid."
"Yes, yes it is. Good job!"
"Hand (it sounded like Haaaaaaayyyuuuunnnnnd) Sanitizer is a liquid." Did i mention he's obsessed with hand sanitizer?
"Very good, it sure is!"
"Gas is a gas." Fuck. Where was this going.
"Um, what kind Dwayne? Like you put in a car?" (This is NOT his real name, but for a black kid he's weirdly a bubba).
"No (it sounded like now-wuh). Gas. Like when you eat the beans."
"Yep. That's a gas."

And that was just a taste. This kid continues to crack my shit up! So not too long after that I had this very Type A girl freaking out over an assignment in class. She couldn't wait for the directions and she kept trying to interrupt. Just then I hear from next to her:

"Patience (payshuns) little grasshopper (grays hoppuh)." And it's him.

Lately he's taken to saying happy birthday to everyone just to see them react and say it's not their birthday. Then he giggles and smiles. But he doesn't ever look at you when he does it.

Another girl was complaining the other day about her mom's boyfriend. We were talking about energy and how people get their energy from food and sleep and water but machines get it from oil and gas and solar power etc.

"My momma boyfriend, he don't never sleep. He be up to 6 in the morning then he gone and sleep all day!" she exclaimed.
"Maybe he's nocturnal (knock-ter-nahl)" says my sage.

Not one day later, we're reviewing economics terms:

"Name a producer, Dwayne," I said.
"Me," he replied.
"What good or service do you provide, honey?" I innocently asked, thinking he was confused.
"Ah'm fuuuuuhhhnnee," he replied.

Yes. Yes he is.

Potatoes

This year we decided to get a share in a local Community Supported Agriculture group. Of course I chose one who did not require we work in the fields. Because let's face it. I don't do that kind of work. If you've ever seen my backyard you'll know what I am talking about.

But now we're in the extended season. And this means potatoes. And pretty much nothing else. What the hell am I supposed to do with 6 pounds of potatoes every week for fuck's sake?

Last week they became very tasty latkes which matched well with the apple sauce I made from the too many apples we have. Then I took the 2 pounds of sweet potatoes and the two butternut squash and made them into a soup. But I still have about 2 pounds of potatoes left.

And this morning I pick up the share. Again.

What the hell am I going to do? I think giving them away is in order. Potatoes anyone?

I woke this morning...

There is no way I can write anything original about my feelings about yesterday's Karl Rove predicted LANDSLIDE victory for OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I woke this morning feeling like for the first time in my life I might be willing to say the Pledge of Allegiance.

I woke this morning thinking that for the first time ever in my teaching career I could tell children honestly that they really could grow up to be president of the United States of America (despite being too sick to actually go to school and also having to go to court).

I woke this morning knowing that the future is so bright I need sunglasses.

I woke this morning to find the world had changed and I had hope.

I woke this morning thinking that I had cast the most important vote I ever may cast in my life, but wondering whether I would get to cast another like it, and thinking I just may.

I woke this morning to a country who had cried out for renewal and had received it.

I woke this morning to a state whose colors had changed and whose motto, Sic Semper Tyranus, finally came true.

I woke this morning to a land which will never be the same again.

I woke this morning knowing yes, yes we can!

And I smiled.