Back in August we noticed a lot of signs for flu vaccines in the pharmacy windows. Flu vaccines? In August? Too early! thought we. One doesn't get a flu vaccine until flu season, November, December, sometime around then. So we waited.
Pharmacies in Spain are not like those in the US. First off, all pharmacists act as gatekeepers. You want to buy tums? No they tell you, you don't. You want pepcid. It's better. But, you explain, I have heartburn right now. I want tums (rennie is what it is here). Pepcid works fine for that. No, you say, it doesn't. It will take an hour or more for the pill to work. Fine, she says rolling her eyes, have some omeprasole. No, you say, that's prilosec. It's a 24 hour acid suppressant. You take it in the mornings before you eat anything. It's not for once you have heartburn. You want something to make the pain stop now. Ok then, take the rennie she says, thrusting it at you with disgust (the Spanish have disgust down to an art, but really that's a different post). So you do.
And that's a typical stop at the farmacia.
What with being busy, heading back to get visas, having things closed every day from 2-5pm for lunch etc, we've been slow to get our vaccines, so yesterday I finally said to Ricardo it was time. We stopped at the 24 hour pharmacy to get one for him and I would take The Kid and get ours later in the day.
It went like this:
Do you have flu vaccines?
Yes. How many do you want?
One.
Sure. €7.95
A bargain! we thought as he went into the back and came out with a small box which he handed to us.
Which he handed to us.
Um, what do we do with this? Is it the nasal spray?
No, it's the shot.
OK.
You give it to yourself. In a muscle. Arm, leg, whatever.
OK.
Look, he said. A health clinic can do it if you want. You'll probably wait a long time. (can you pick up on the classic levels of disgust? because they were wreathing us like a curtain).
OK. €7.95?
€7.95.
We took it and left. I put it in the fridge. Ricardo went to the library. I went about my errands and tried to find a pharmacy where they'd give me the shot. No dice. This one didn't have it. That one didn't have it and didn't I know how late it was? No one would have them any more. I should have gotten it ages ago! (disgust, disgust, disgust!)
Back to the 24 hour pharmacy. I'll take 2 more. And a bottle of rubbing alcohol please.
So now I had 3 flu shots, a bottle of rubbing alcohol and sheer will. I knew it couldn't be that hard. I'd had dozens of flu shots and hundreds of allergy shots in my life. How hard could it be to give myself a flu shot in my leg? If I couldn't give myself a flu shot how could I give them to the rest of the family? Because no way in hell was I going to let Mr. Genetic Hand Shakes Ricardo give me one and the Kid is terrified of needles. So it was down to me. And I was first up.
I went in the bathroom and washed my hands. Then I alcoholed the crap out of my leg, took out the shot and sat there.
I could do it.
Just do it.
OK. Now!
Now!
Just do it Now!
Ok really do it now!
OK this time for real. Now!
Now!
OK. Now!
I partly stuck the needle in and realized that was not going to work and jabbed it in. Then I tried to slowly shoot it in, realized that wasn't the way and plunged. It was done. Whew!
And then I was left with a biohazard, which apparently in Spain, no one seems to care about since there are no directions at all for disposing of it. Creepy!
The Kid came home from Taekwondo, took his shower and I announced it was time for his flu shot. He got all pissy with me.
Do I have to get dressed? Why did you make me shower? Why didn't we just go after Taekwondo?
Go get your rabbit and come in my bathroom I told him. (the bathroom of doom!!)
He did and I started telling him the saga of my rosetta stone debacle (long story short, time machine does not remember your activation codes for rosetta stone, but apryl in harrisonburg is a doll and was a huge help for 2 hours!) while I did this, I cannily washed my hands, alcoholed his arm and jabbed the shot in! boom! done, baby!
By the time it was time to do Ricardo's (it burns us precious!) I was a fucking pro!
And so we've all had our flu shots. And the only one with ill effects is me. Can I recommend, not getting one in your thigh muscle since it hurts like fuck and now my leg is killing me today?
Oh, and it's really late in the season to get a flu shot. Why didn't you just get them when the signs were up? Not that we'd have given them to you when you'd asked...
