OK. Here's what's up

Everything I touch seems to turn to shit if it's in my house and costs a buttload of money.

Last week not only did the dryer die, but we once again had some minor flooding with a load of laundry. I realized in retrospect that had the timing worked out we would have been safe for years. But only if the washer flooded at the same time the dryer caught fire. So that was one expense.

The next major fiasco was that on Friday last it was hot. Or at least hot to me in my 1969 ranch house which is not designed to stay cool. Unless it's cold out. Then being cool is what it does best. But I want to be warm.

I digress.

It was hottish (like in the 80s) which meant the house was hottish which meant that I wanted to turn on the AC at least for an hour or two to cool down. So we did.

But nothing happened really. It just got hotter and hotter in the house. The fan blew but it wasn't getting cooler. So Ricardo cleaned the filter of the AC and put it back in. It was fairly nasty so we hoped it would work the next day.

But it didn't. So I wanted to call the AC guys. "You can't do that! If they come on a Saturday it'll be over time!" So I called to find out how much more and when I learned it was only $35 more I had the guy come.

"Well your problem is you don't have one drop of refrigerant in that system," he informed us.
"But if I was you, I wouldn't put any in either. That's a 22 year old system you got there. And the refrigerant is about $100 a pound. You need at least 10 pounds and that's if I can find the leak."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

And then he informed us that the refrigerant is so expensive because it's going to be illegal to sell new units that take that kind. It's damaging to the ozone. And that's why it's expensive too.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

One hour later we were scheduling the installation of a new 3 ton unit for inside and outside. Ouch!

It was the single most expensive 36 hours I've ever had where I did not buy a house, a car, or give birth to a extremely premature infant.

But there was reason to hope. Because on Monday our coffee maker arrived in the mail. I was so excited that I started to kind of skip as I got closer to the box. Which was embarrassing for my son to witness, his mother doing a jig over a coffee maker. But hey, he embarrassed me plenty as a screaming baby. It's payback time now.

We've been without an espresso maker since the middle of February when ours died and when, because it was under warranty, we sent it to Maryland to be repaired. But they didn't do it. And they didn't do it. After 1 month we called them. They hadn't gotten to it. After 6 weeks, Ricardo got hostile with Krups. They agreed to send us a new one.

But they didn't. They sent a reconditioned one. And Monday night, I excitedly unpacked it and set it up, running water through it and salivating at the thought of my fresh latte Tuesday morning.

I'm sure you know where this is headed by now.

It didn't work. And Krups? Yeah, they don't do refunds.

So right now I am sweating outside The Kid's piano teacher's house. It's 89 degrees according to the car's thermometer. I have 12 months to pay off the air conditioner, 18 months to pay off the new washer and dryer, and no coffee maker. My son had to wear a bathing suit (it looks like shorts) to school today because he had no clean underwear and when I get home the house will easily be 85 degrees inside. If I am lucky it will cool down by 1 am. Which is fine, because I'm not working tomorrow. After all, I have to wait at the house for the Washer and Dryer and the AC guys.

OMFGOMFGOMFGOMFG!!!!!!!!

We *now* need a new air conditioning unit. OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to buy a new washer.

Actually I had to buy a new dryer. Ours won't shut off. And this is a fire hazard. I learned this was a fire hazard when I went to Best Buy yesterday to look at how much these things cost and mentioned my dryer was "on the fritz."

"Oh," said the tatooed hipper than thou employee. "What's wrong with it?"
"It won't shut off."
"Wow, that's really dangerous. It could start a fire."

Actually I kind of knew that because, A. I am not stupid, B. we discovered that when it ran all night, we could make a new duvet out of the produced lint, and C. my mother mentioned it this last weekend when she was here.

I told my mom that the dryer wouldn't shut off. She said, "Wow, that's a huge fire hazard." So I knew.

Yesterday I went to Best Buy to look at washers and dryers but was dazzled by the array of choices. I don't really like that many choices because it's overwhelming. And I needed to get my head around what one needed 14 wash cycles for anyway. And what is a steam dryer? Because isn't the dryer supposed to dry not steam?

My son had spend the night with his other grandmother the day before and when he got home last night, I was chatting with my mother-in-law about my vacation so far. Lame hardly describes it. But at any rate, she asked what I had done that day and I mentioned that I'd gone to Best Buy to look at washers and dryers. She asked why and I replied my dryer was on the fritz.

"What's wrong with it?" she asked but more accented and lilting than you're reading it.
"It won't shut off."
"Que bestia. That can be very dangerous. It's a fire hazard."

Yeah. I get that.

So last night after dinner with a former student of Ricardo's, I subscribed to Consumer Reports to investigate this whole thing. And I found the perfect washer and dryer! They were economical, front loaders, high on energy conservation. Fabulous!

And not available in my podunk, armpit region of the world.

And one wonders why I shop online?

Sooooo, I enlisted the help of The Kid today and after a lazy morning workout (how can one workout lazily? Have you seen the size of me?) and lunch, we hit the stores. First stop was Sears where they had the second choice washer and dryer and they were on sale. But, only 12 months financing and they dinged you $80 for delivery. You could freaking roll them down the hill to our house! $80! Screw that.

So we went to Lowes. They didn't have any of the models we were interested in. And they knew nothing about any of the models they were selling. And only 6 months financing. Plus I hate them.

Then it was back to Best Buy. Free delivery and set up, free haul away, and 18 months financing (which is good because holy fucking God, have you *seen* the cost of these things these days?!). Plus they can deliver them next Friday when I have off. And they were very nice to me. And the taxes from them (not small!) go to our city.

So what have I done with my break? I got an allergy shot, wrote a 70 page review packet of all the state standards k-3 for science and social studies. I worked out twice, did some laundry (but no drying unless I am in the house, because I *hear* it's a fire hazard). I bought some clothes and then returned them. How pitiful is that.

And finally, I need to call out the lurkers here. I know there are a bunch of you now. I am fine with that, but I' like a roll call or something so I know there's some interest of some kind out there. My ego is fragile, don't you know.